Category: albert rosenfield

trufield: when Harry is in his 80s he can say …


when Harry is in his 80s he can say he has been with Albert for most of his life ;3;

old man headcanons under the cut

Continua a leggere



Twin Peaks: Arbitrary Law (1990) dir. Tim Hunter



cutting and pasting





Albert arrived at Frank’s entirely unexpected – even to Harry. It was a nice surprise for Scott’s 4th birthday but Albert looked exhausted and excitable children weren’t improving his condition. When he was able to sit on the couch and talk to Harry (after Frank had carried Scott away to stop him continually running back to Albert to show him another gift), Albert confessed he hadn’t slept at all.

“I had to pull an all-nighter and planned to get some shut-eye this afternoon but I kept thinking about this.”

“What about it Albert? You know you didn’t have to come, he wasn’t expecting you to.”

“But it- argh,” Albert muttered, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I had this sudden panic that it was… a duty I had to do or something…”

Harry kissed his temple. “That’s very sweet of you. Or noble, if you prefer. But I’d rather you didn’t fall asleep at the wheel.”

“I’m not even good for anything. I’m just gonna end up falling asleep on the couch…”

“It’s really okay Albert. Did you see how happy he was to see you? We might as well stay the night and you can see them all properly tomorrow.”

Albert was already drifting into sleep.

Harry spent an uncomfortable night holding Albert on top of him on the couch due to Frank’s lack of guest space but Albert didn’t seem to mind. He didn’t even wake when Harry shifted him to get up, he just grunted and rolled over. Harry smiled and went to find breakfast.

When he returned the kids had found Albert, still asleep. They had paint. They sure worked quick. Harry crept around to see what they had done.

Albert had rainbow stripes curving from the outer edge of his eyes up forehead to his hairline. Charlotte was working on one side of the face and Fred the other to get it done as quick as possible. Scott had missed the concept and was painting Albert’s lips pale blue.

Harry snorted and three curly heads whipped round.

“You better scram before he wakes up,” Harry said with a wink before they dashed past him in fits of giggles. Harry went in search for a camera before Albert erased all of the evidence.

When Albert did wake up his brain still wasn’t fully functional. Of course he would have no idea what he looked like. He wandered into the kitchen while Frank and Harry were talking over coffee and Harry quickly avoided eye contact from anyone.

“Mornin’ Albert,” Frank said, completely neutral. “Sleep well?”

“Mn, yeah. I feel like my brain is still sleeping on your couch. I need coffee.”

He clattered around looking for a mug until Frank said he would make it for him.

“Where’s everyone else?” Albert frowned.

“The kids are in the yard, Doris is getting Scott dressed,” Harry informed him.


Albert wandered back to the living room and Harry followed. Albert loosely looped his arms around him and kissed him. He was always pretty docile if he woke up naturally, he would snuggle up close to Harry in bed and not want him to leave. Harry returned his kiss and Albert kissed his neck, his cheek and his ear.


“The kids are outside and it doesn’t matter anyway…”

Harry moved back and was going to smile but had to catch his laugh instead seeing Albert’s decorative face and serious expression again. Albert frowned.


Frank came in and Albert left the room. Harry looked at Frank who gave him a blank stare.

“Restrain yourselves in the company of my family. Please.”

Harry felt his face reddening and made his way to the bathroom, already envisioning the blue marks Albert would have made on his skin. He was stopped two steps into his journey when he almost tripped over Scott running into the room.

“What the fuck?!” Albert yelled from the bathroom.

Scott looked towards the noise and back at Harry. They both looked at Frank.

“… Fuck!” Scott declared.

Harry gritted his teeth and crumbled inside, Frank’s stare became stony.

“If Doris ever hears him say that Albert’s gonna have a much bigger problem than his face art.”

Two weeks later Albert picked up his phone just before it rang off.


He jerked the handset away from his ear. He always thought Gordon yelling over the phone at him would make him deaf in one ear, not Doris Truman. Frank had already chastised him and he expected a call at some point. It was only a matter of time. Albert cleared his throat.


“You’re a terrible influence!”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t get smart with me mister!” She proceeded to rant about all of Albert’s bad habits and Albert was just about to take the opportunity of her taking a breath to chime in but she cut him off before the first syllable. “And the next time I see you I’m washing your mouth out with soap in front of my kids as a lesson!”

[ @superkamiokande said that Frank made a comment on Albert’s forehead (

“You could rent it out as a billboard ad space”) and that’s what inspired the kids :’> ]

lynchead: Twin Peaks: Arbitrary Law (1990) di…


Twin Peaks: Arbitrary Law (1990) dir. Tim Hunter



forehead kisses <3

myellenficent: Fellas, let’s stand together fo…


Fellas, let’s stand together for a moment. It’s time I mentioned something.

Twin Peaks, Ep. 10 “The Man Behind Glass” (1990) dir. Lesli Linka Glatter



@laughingpinecone !!!!!!!!!!!!



#you can tear my “albert openly flirts with cooper in front of people he assumes are closed-minded hillbillys” headcanon from my cold dead hands